Younger Self (ys): So, what if… I had chose to pursue my art?

Older Self (os): Well, back then, there were two main choices for me, follow the practical path, or follow your dream.

ys: And how did you make the choice?

os: It was not really that tough a choice to make. I had already done a good amount of my art, so I had some measure of my abilities.

ys: So what was the verdict?

os: I did not like it. I did not think I was anywhere good enough, and I wasn’t getting that much better. Was I prepared to be the “starving artist”?

ys: Were you?

os: No, I wasn’t. I had many other interests, but the main motivator was money. I needed to be able to earn a good living, and that would support my other interests, which in time, would be worked on, practicing, and getting better at, and someday, make the jump when the time was right.

ys: So, what am I supposed to be? Am I supposed to be “starving artist”?

os: Yes, in a way. At least, you are me at that other branch. My “What if”.

ys: Aren’t you getting off on a bad start with the “starving artist” stuff?

os: Not at all. That is what I was thinking at the time, so actually, if I did make the decision to pursue my dream, well, then I would be putting all my effort into it, and not be the “starving artist”.

ys: It’s still futile, because once all my new stuff (which is your old stuff) is published, then it’ll just stop cold because there is no new stuff to put up.

os: Yes, that’s correct. I wasn’t sure what to do about that yet.

ys: Oh great. I’m just some throw-away, who will disappear once this is all done.

os: If that’s where it leads, then yes.

ys: Well, then can you at least give me a full life story?

os: Sure, I can do that. That was on the list. You might not like where it goes from time to time.

ys: That’s life.

os: Yes. Yes, it is.

Older Self (os): “What if?” was an old series that Marvel Comics had back in the late 80’s, when I was still collecting. It was interesting to see the alternate timelines that could have happened.

Younger Self (ys): So…. what if?

os:  I am a firm believer in that things happen when they happen in the order they have to happen. It may not have been apparent at the time, but your past determines your future. Who you are now is because of everything that has happened to you in the past. Good, bad and ugly. It all matters. If you were to go back in time and change anything, then things will turn out very differently.

ys: So what are you trying to say? There is no “What if?” That you took the correct way back then?

os: No. There’s no correct way. Life just happens around you. You make the choice, and keep going. And you keep making choices, every day, every hour, every minute, every second. And you keep going.

ys: You’re starting to scare me.

os: Oh, just humor me.There’s always “What if?”.

ys: So…. what are talking about then?

os: Well, I guess I am trying to do a few things. The main thing is still just learning everything I need to do. I want to spend time getting the procedures down, fixing up the scans, maybe coloring them in. Figure out the best way to post. Even waiting for the new software versions to come out.

ys: So you’re just stalling for time?

os: Yeah, okay, you got me. I don’t have the time like I used to, so things will take a lot longer to accomplish. But, small steps until it’s ready to go.

ys: Okay. Going back to “What if?”.

os: Let me think about it for tomorrow.

ys: Alright.